Earth to Jedi
by Katelynn Gamin
Summary: This is the 'log' (journal) of a girl/woman (depending on whether you look at my age or my actions) who got thrown into NASA's plot to colonize a new planet. How does it go horribly wrong you might ask? Please, read her (my) most personal and inner thoughts that she (I) has documented for all to see.
1. Chapter 1

"I am NOT an astronaut!" That was me… To NASA. Why, you ask, am I yelling at NASA? I'll get there; hold on to your pants. "I'm a college sophomore with an undecided major, but I have absolutely NO intentions to go into space. None. The extent of my 'outer space' is Star Wars." That got me a fancy NASA eye roll. Isn't it funny that we've made such great strides in feminism and the whole, "No means no" thing, but NASA doesn't seem to get the hint. This was about when they got all "Ms. Brebel, it is an honor to be asked (forced) to join this mission. We've contacted ten of the best medical practitioners around America and nine of them *insert glare* have agreed (been forced) to go along and monitor the hundreds of people in stasis for the journey." Woooaahh. Okay. If you're reading this and have no idea what is going on, the shortened version is that we, humans from the planet Earth, have discovered another habitable planet. Problem is, it's not close. NASA is basically offering some smart people the equivalent of dirt to fly up there with these pods while we age and they don't. It'll be a good ten years before we even see the ground again, so maybe from that point of view, literal dirt as payment wouldn't be bad, but I'm not about to waste ten years watching frozen bodies. Get the idea now? Anyway, yelling at NASA got me nowhere and now I'm strapped into a rocket with a ton of people that are basically dead for the next ten years and twenty two days. Wooo.


	2. Chapter 2

Two years later…

This trip is turning out to be a lot more interesting than I thought! I get to WATCH GRASS GROW! Yep. That's what I've been up to for the past… Two years and thirty seven days. We need air on this death machine, so there are potted plants and long boxes of grass and flowers and stuff all over the place. There are also some edible plants, which are pretty extensive and I really doubt you, whoever you may be, would care. Anyway, I've gotten close with a few of the others (AKA two of the other four people that aren't dead to the world on this deathtrap). They're nice enough, but they really don't know how to take a joke… There's the doctor (AKA the child prodigy). She graduated college already and actually went TO NASA to ask to join the mission, although from what I heard, they were going to kidnap her anyway for it. Oh right, her name is Sara. Christian is the 'teacher' on board. He's finishing his classes up via pre-recorded lectures and assignments. Sounds like the easy version of college if you ask me. The other two, well I don't know much about them. They don't really talk to me. I'm just too fun for them! Right? … RIGHT!? I think their names are Matt.. or Matteo or something… and Leila. Sounds like Leia, which kind of makes me laugh, considering she looks waaaayyyy too uptight to have ever seen Star Wars. Alright, well I'm sure you're sick of my jokes and comments by now, so I'll leave you to process all that. It's my turn to check the vitals on the pods, I'll be back (Well, probably in a few years anyway).


	3. Chapter 3

One month later…

Alright well… I don't know whether this is the best place to document this or what, but I need to write it down someplace because I think we just flew into a black hole… or something… I don't really know. People say black holes would be, well black, but whatever this is, it's so colorful and somehow pretty. I don't know how long we'll be in here, but NASA didn't prep us for this, so I'm just gonna keep on eating my raw potatoes grown from my literal poop (Sounds like the Martian.. that old movie with Matt Damon? Maybe…? No? Ok.) and secretly trying to wake up this kid. Oops did I forget to mention? I made a friend! She's like eight, and frozen, but she listens well. I imagine she'd be pretty psyched to see what all this is… and she was raised to go through astronaut training so she'd probably know what it is… I'll let you know when I wake her up.


	4. Chapter 4

Two days later…

Right. Well I finally was able to wake her up and trick the pod into thinking she's still in there with good vitals. Don't ask how. She helped, smart kid. We're just now exiting this thing, according to Mia (That's her name). She said it's a wormhole, but I really didn't think those existed. Maybe we'll end up on Courscant next. Never know.

Mia has been hiding in my personal cabin and eating a share of my rations. If you ever need to lose weight, try eating raw potatoes and other veggies for over two years. Want a faster result? Share with an eight year old kid that hasn't eaten in like two years! I also recommend not eating your entire stash of freeze dried ice cream in the first week because you miss your cat, but who am I to judge? Mr. Whiskers was the only family I had left down there. I secretly think that's why I was picked, not because I'm good. I'm not awful… I haven't killed anyone, but I'm young and, compared to these other guys, inexperienced. I'm only like… what? Almost twenty-one? So they sent Mr. W to my neighbor's and shipped me into space. Mia said she wasn't allowed to be attached to anyone or thing because they didn't know if everyone would make it through the trip. Cruel right?


	5. Chapter 5

Three hours later…

And we out! I guess it was a wormhole because we have no way of contacting NASA and the maps we have don't even BEGIN to map this. At the moment we're just flying towards the nearest planet, which could take.. oh I don't know another year? Oh.. Well Mia says it'll take about a week. The telescope on board can zoom in pretty far and it LOOKS like something lives on the planet… That or there are just a lot of volcanoes. Either way, we're probably going to die.

Two hours out from the planet…

So the rest of the crew just found out about Mia and have voted to kick me off once we reach the planet… I can't tell if they're joking, to be honest and it's kind of freaking me out. Oh my gosh! I'm looking out of the windows and there are hundreds of ships surrounding us. They look like… No way! No way no way no way no way! DUDE! THESE ARE NEW REPUBLIC ERA FIGHTERS! IS THIS ACTUALLY CORUSCANT?! *screaming and bouncing* *Something on radio crackles* ~Krrr-unknown vessel, identify yourself. We repeat. Identify yourself.-krrrr~ AHHHHH WHAT DO I SAY!? OOH I GOT IT! ~Krrr- Please stand down. This is the millennium Falcon. I repeat. The Millennium Falcon. – Krrrr~ Well that got me a dirty look from the others...

Alright so Its been a minute and we're still alive, which is good… but we're closer to the planet now, like really close and I have no idea how to land this thing. It was kind of meant for landing on a remote planet, not a crazy busy one. Hold on. We're trying to figure out what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

Unknown time later…

We're hurtling through the atmosphere. On fire… likely melting. Mia and I were told to watch the pods while the other nine are in the cockpit. Kinda just hoping not to die… I've got to get back for Mr. W! ~CRASH~ WE HIT SOMETHING I HEAR ALARMS AND SOMEHOW MIA IS TOTALLY CHILL AND JUST LIKE EATING POTATOES SH- ~CRASH~ SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT I'M GOING TO DIE! ~CRASHHHHH SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH~ WE'RE SLIDING NOW! WE LANDED ON SOMETHING AND WE'RE SLIDING. *curls into ball and breathes (Tries to breathe)*

Another unknown time period later…

Mia is dragging me to check the cockpit. It sounds like everyone is either unconscious or dead and I really don't want to see them d- Hold on.

Ship Log:

MIA MESKA-PASSENGER-STELLAR VOYAGE I

AGE: 9Earthyears

Time: Unknown, Roughly midday on unknown planet.

Ms. Natalie Brebel is currently ill. I have been trained to see this kind of wreckage. She was likely ill prepared to see this kind of sight. Once she is decent once again, we shall exit the ship and search for help.

Okay. I'm back. That was… Something else… I've seen gunshot wounds, people torn half apart by blasts, severe burns, but this was just so extreme. Their faces were charred to a point where it was almost impossible to recognize them. Flesh and blood are sprayed around in chunks and clusters. It looks like one of those art projects when you melt crayons and let them drip everywhere… except much more gory. I have to move on… Mia and I are going outside. She said the air is breathable, well I should hope so… since the windows shattered on impact and we've been breathing it for a good twenty minutes now.

An hour later…

This is… most definitely Coruscant. As pathetic as it is, I can read all of the Aurebesh (their writing) on the signs and I recognize the shape of the senate building on the horizon. There are cops around our ship now and they're _floating_ the pods out and beginning to deactivate them. I don't really want to go over to them. No one has noticed us yet, so I've managed to hold Mia at bay. She's waiting for her parents, but some of the pods closer to the cockpit were destroyed… I know which ones were destroyed and based on where her parents' pods, and her own, were… well, I don't have the heart to tell her. I'm going to try to get us to the senate plaza or the Jedi temple. Let me get back to this in a bit.


	7. Chapter 7

A few Coruscant days later…

The days here are weirdly long. Mia said the planet is much bigger than Earth, but its kind of weird to think about. We've made progress, but when you're trying not to be noticed, it is much harder to navigate. We made a few wrong turns just trying to avoid the local police and it took way too long to get back on course. Oddly enough, though, even with our light grey jumpsuits that are literally COVERED in pockets and patches with our names and country insignia on them, no one has noticed us. It seems like because we don't want to be seen, we aren't. This is where my mind goes off on some crazy Force conspiracies. I'll let you imagine what you want while we keep making our way to the Jedi temple. (I figured the Jedi are more likely to help us than run hundreds of tests and then imprison us or something).

Ship Log:

MIA MESKA-PASSENGER-(FORMER)STELLAR VOYAGE I

AGE: 9.5Earthyears

Time: Unknown, Sixth day on *unknown* planet.

Ms. Natalie Brebel is currently standing very still and staring at what seems to be a religious and sacred building shaped roughly like what appears to be a concrete trapezoid. She is entirely unresponsive. I correct my previous statement. She has slowly begun walking towards the building. I certainly hope neither of us are spotted, no other creatures, for this place seems to be home to many species, seem to show interest in approaching the structure.

Time: Twelve minutes and seventeen seconds after last entry.

Ms. Natalie Brebel and I have made our way to the large entrance of the monastery. We have only gotten a few (no more than three) glances from pedestrians in the park behind the gargantuan staircase leading to the intricate doorway, though none seem malicious. None of the sentries that are perched on high towers around this area seem to wish to stop us either. Perhaps we can get information inside.

I think I'm going to scream now. I am standing in the main hall of the JEDI TEMPLE! HOW DID I EVEN GET IN HERE!? *Insert deafening scream*

Wait. No one noticed that..? This is getting weird… How has no one noticed us? Let me… *A Mon Calamari approaches* Oh my gosh. THAT'S CILGHAL! MASTER CILGHAL! I'm just kind of staring at her at this point. She didn't seem to notice me at first, but now she does. Now she's looking right at me, only with one eyeball… That really is unsettling. " _Hello Miss. Can I help you?"_ She's still looking at me…. "I uh… Yeah…" She's still staring… Oh right….. Maybe I should tell her what we need. "My friend Mia and I" I gestured to Mia and she's giving me a 'You're nuts" look. "We need help getting home. Could we… Maybe we could go someplace else? I can explain all of this much better I swear." Another crazy look, but she did gesture to follow her so now we're walking at least.

After all that I think I'm going to need a quick recap. In one day I've made the Jedi's main healer think I'm nuts, and probably scared Mia half to death. Cilgal is definitely going to turn me over to the GA. Absolutely wonderful.

 **A/N: Hey there readers! If you got this far thank you so much! I would like to apologize for short chapters, but I will be posting more than one at a time... Most likely three or four at once. I just like the effect splitting it up gives. Anyway, I've got the next few written out, but I want to do some editing and will hopefully post around Tuesday, Jan. 3, 2017. If you've got any suggestions or questions, please DM me or comment below!**


	8. Chapter 8

Roughly 2 Coruscant Weeks Later…

Alright, well it's been long enough to officially calm down over seeing people like Cilghal, Tekkli, and some others that I'd read about. I wish I could meet the Solos or Skywalkers, Cilghal insists that 'in time' I will, but that 'time' keeps getting farther longer. She's kept us locked up since she found us.

I guess I should probably explain that… So, you remember how Mia and I just walked into the temple? One of the most heavily protected places in this galaxy? And how no one inside noticed us until I started freaking out over Cilghal? Apparently, Mia and I don't exist in the Force… Well… We EXIST, but it's a choice. She seems to think that when we don't want to be seen, people can't see us or sense us. She had us try tons of things. We had to talk to her, without wanting to be sensed or seen. Mia was supposed to disappear while I stayed visible. She used- what are they called? Those animals that block the Force? - Those to see if that influenced it. She said that when she stepped out of the bubble, she couldn't see us at all and when the Force was blocked for her, she could see us, but it was like we belonged and weren't so out of place. "Another face in the crowd" (Without the crowd) if you will.

Yesterday was the first day she let us explore the temple, which was cool, she just made us promise to follow her and be quiet instead of running off and getting ourselves caught by Master Hamner or something. That would be interesting wouldn't it? He'd have a cow… or a nerf… or whatever that phrase is here. We followed her out of her master's quarters, which is where she had us hidden, I guess the cells were filled with crazy Jedi~ Sorry, SICK Jedi, not crazy. *Insert apology to Horn family and others*

So we left her quarters and wandered around. The dining hall was pretty packed and smelled sooooo good, but floating trays might be weird, so we went to the archives. *Side note: our clothes, no matter what they seem to be, and any small objects that are pocketed or held vanish, but things handed to us while invisible do not disappear* I don't know if you can tell, but I'm not one for libraries, but I have to admit that the Jedi archives were the most amazing library I've ever seen. I was in awe. Mia, who had been pretty indifferent this whole time, lit up like a tree on Christmas… Mia ran from shelf to shelf reading whatever she could get her hands on (Cilghal had taught us how to read aurebesh, I already knew, but I pretended I didn't). She must've gotten something interesting after a while because she sat down in a corner and was reading something on a datapad. Cilghal and I talked quietly in one of the isles farthest from the doors. It was basically silent except for Cilghal's rough voice, assuming anyone who entered couldn't hear mine, until the door slid open and a small group of apprentices walked in. Cilghal acted as if she had been looking for something on the shelf. It was weird watching a conversation so close without being noticed. Really odd… I ran off to grab Mia and we waited for a bit for Cilghal to finish up with the younglings. They were taking forever, so (against Mia's wishes) we snuck out when some knight came in. To shorten the beginning of our adventure, I'll just say we stole some Jedi robes from someone's room (they were a little big on Mia, but fit me well enough), just in case someone did see us. I dragged her all over the place, looking for someone I recognized. We were back in the dining hall when the vidscreens ~TV's~ lining the walls flashed with an urgent message. A face I had only seen described popped up in the center, tawny hair and perfect features standing in a place well suited for such a disgusting creature.

Javis Tier was at the Livestock Exchange and Exhibition. In the background what I assumed was Falleen Jedi Natua Wan ran past, slashing at cages and pens with her lightsaber, freeing the animals and creating widespread chaos. I grabbed Mia and ran back to the archives without a second glance at the sleezy journalist's face. _This is not good. Not good at all…_ Natua had snapped. That meant… The Sith! The Jedi hadn't found the Sith yet! Very bad.

*Back to the present*

I can't decide whether or not to tell Cilghal about the Sith and Abeloth and all of these other problems that the Jedi are going to face. The MANDOS are about to attack the temple for kriff's sake. How can I not tell them? On the other hand, I don't want to ruin their universe. If I say something, will they even believe me? If they do something about this stuff, could the future be even worse that it is if I don't say anything? I already told her that we have stories of this galaxy, but she doesn't know how MUCH I know. Whoever reads this, just know I didn't mean to ruin anything if I end up doing so. Apologies!

 **A/N: Hey readers! Thank you so much for reading this far. As of right now, I've got a lot on my plate so I'm super sorry this was delayed. I'll do my best to post faster/more. Again thank you thank you thank you for reading! If you've got ideas I'd love to hear them so please comment or PM me if you want it to be more private. 3**


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